Way too long!

Wow! It's been way too long since I last blogged...and this adoption process....!! :p  I think part of the reason is because I've been pretty discouraged about the whole process.  Waiting...waiting...paperwork...

paperwork...deadlines...deadlines... having to get our home study updated ($400 later).

I thought we had some paperwork (marriage and birth certificates) expiring this month, but in  emailing with our Family Coordinator, I am encouraged once again! She informed me that they are good for up to 5 years.  In the paperwork process, you have to have new marriage and birth certificates, not the ones you got from the hospital.  I thought they were expiring this month because they were going to be a year old.  We have a little more time to get our paperwork off and we are almost there!

We were told in the beginning of this process that it's easy to get caught up in the process and feel discouraged with it all.  It's easy to forget the end result...a child!!  Hopefully, we'll get our paperwork sent off in January or February.

In family life, we are all doing well. Charis was baptized and Caleb had the privilege of baptizing her, that was such a sweet moment.

Adoption Fund raising

Today, we have been working on adoption fund raising.  We've applied to different grant agencies.  We heard back from one agency called Lifesong.  If funds are available they give applicants interest free loans.  Funds were unavailable for us to receive a loan, but they are helping us out with fund raising.  We are in the process of applying for more grants, but all grants are not guaranteed. We have put together a letter (with the help of Lifesong) that we will be sending out through the mail for help with our adoption.  We have attached it here on our blog.

Lifesong reference letter

Our support letter

We have attached a PayPal link set up through Lifesong where funds can be given to help with our adoption fund raising.

All you have to do is click on the yellow donate button below.  Then when you get to the Lifesong site, scroll down and click again on the yellow donate button.  It will take you to the PayPal donation page.

Under 'purpose' you will enter 'preference Kelley, Caleb/#1384 adoption' and then enter the amount you wish to donate.



Please help us get the word out by posting this for us on your blog posts or Facebook accounts.  Just click on the link below to re post it.  Thank you for your help!

My birthday

I have the most wonderful husband and daughter in the world! This is the best birthday I've had in a long time.  I think the reason why it was so good was because I had no elevated expectations for the day.  I would love to sit here and describe my whole day, but I also want to add pictures.  I will describe my day in short sentences instead.

-Slept in.
-Ate breakfast @ Cracker Barrel with friends.
-Went to the pool w/same friends.
-Soaked up the sun and played Spades (Caleb and I won this game) at the pool.
-Went to my second 5K.
-Ran it in 42 minutes - took 2 minutes longer than the first one.
-Ran it @ 6pm - the weather was hot and humid - harder to run in hot and humid weather (my sister Jody      would have loved running in this type of weather - strange!  I love you, Jody!).  It probably didn't help by spending most of the time in the sun before running either!=
-Ate an ENTIRE funnel cake by MYSELF.  Yes, I did feel pretty sick afterward, but loved every minute of it!
-Went to our friends house (the ones we spent time with earlier) after the 5K.
-Walked into a small surprise party with cake and ice cream.
-Didn't eat cake and ice cream since I had just eaten an ENTIRE funnel cake by MYSELF.
-Will be able to eat the leftover cake on Father's Day.  Will be spending time with our friends again.
-Played Spades (our friends won this game) again.
-Got home around 11pm.
-Posting this @ 3:48AM.  Couldn't sleep.  Too much funnel cake...??

Two white boys having a 'serious' discussion

SO GLAD THE END IS NEAR!

Yes, she did eat this all by herself!

Yes, I cried.  It's what I do.

Didn't realize my shirt still had wet spots on it from pouring water on myself while running.  It was hot!

Couldn't enjoy the cake since I had just eaten a funnel cake.  I did enjoy watching everyone else enjoy the cake and ice cream.

Charis' salvation

Charis accepted Christ as her Saviour on Tuesday, May 4!  Caleb had the privilege to lead her to the Lord.  I am so thankful that God allowed him to do it.  We have been praying for her salvation and also praying that one of us would be able to do it.  I am so glad that Caleb was the one that had the opportunity.


Here is their conversation:

I started off our conversation with telling Charis about my day at the A29 conference.  I explained to her that I learned how to be a better daddy.  Then I went into detail about how I sinned against her by being too controlling.  I told her that God is sovereign and in control of everything including her.  So I don't have to be a controlling daddy.  I just needed to trust Jesus more.  She forgave me for sinning against her, and we cried a little.  Then I asked her if she was a sinner.  She said she was so then we talked more specifically about her sins.  Then we talked about how Jesus is her rescuer and died on the cross to forgive her from her sins.  I also told her that Jesus was a better daddy then me and anything that I do that looks like I'm a good daddy, its because its Jesus doing it through me.  And when I do something that is sin, like being controlling, that is really me.  She said that she wanted Jesus to forgive her from her sin and become a Jesus follower.  So we talked more about what it means to be a Jesus follower.  We talked about what it would look like for her at age 6 to be a fully devoted follower of Christ.  She was so excited and asked if she could be a Jesus follower.  So I explained that she would need to ask Jesus for forgiveness of her sin and accept his free gift.  Then Jesus could be her rescuer.  So she asked me if I could pray for her.  I told her that this was a prayer that she would have to do by herself.  So she prayed "Jesus please forgive me for my sin and rescue me, I want to be a Jesus follower.  Amen".  I have not experienced so much joy in my entire life!  We cried for a while together and talked about what it means to be a fully devoted follower of Christ.  We then went upstairs and told Tracy what had happened.  Then later we discussed what baptism and communion were and that she would be able to participate in them both.  She was very excited.  So all day she was so excited to tell her friends one by one that Jesus saved her!  



Besides the birth of Charis, that was probably the best day ever!  They were both pretty emotional when they came upstairs to tell me what had happened.  To see the joy and peace on her face was something that I will never forget.  I am so thankful that God gave Caleb the opportunity to lead her to Christ and for us to witness the transformation.



We were out driving around doing errands that same day and a song came on the radio that talked about being forgiven.  Charis said, 'That's what I am!'  I asked her what she was talking about to get a feel of if she knew what the song was talking about.  She said, 'I'm forgiven!'.


II Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away; behold, the new has come[!!].

$7,700

Upon submission of our dossier (the paperwork that will go to Ethiopia) we will have $7,700 in fees to pay.  All the fees are broken down into 5 different payments:

The 2nd program fee of $2000
Translation fee of $800
Post Placement Deposit of $1000
Courier fee of $800
First Half of the International Program Fee $3750

Chump change!  HA!

We are in the process of filling out two different grant applications.  Please pray that we will be able to receive some sort of grant money through these different organizations.

My first 5K experience

Today, I ran in my first 5K.  It was a great experience and I am so glad that I was able to do it.  It was a great day for running because it wasn't too cold.  It was overcast and drizzling which wasn't a big deal.  We all thought there was going to be a downpour from what we saw online and heard from other people.

I was up at 5:55am cause my ride was coming around 6:15am.  I don't eat or shower before I run.  I have noticed that if I eat before I run I get cramps--yes, I got cramps today, but I'll talk about that a little later.  The race started at 7:50am.  We got up early to make sure we got a good parking spot.  There was a total of 8 women in the group that I ran with.  There were 567 people in the 5K.  I was so excited but nervous about this 5K.  I had never done anything like this and didn't know what to expect.  There were a few women in the group who had done a 5K in the past so I gleaned as much knowledge from them as I could.  But, as we all know, until you actually do something yourself, you really can't experience something through someone else.

As soon as I started running, the cramps started. =(  I was so bummed, but I kept running anyway.  I ran through the 1st mile with the cramps and then walked a little through the 2nd mile.  Toward the last half of the second I ran again, trying a breathing technique that was working a little.  My cramps subsided a little.  I had to walk again a little bit into the third mile.  I knew that I wanted to finish running the 5K no matter how bad the cramps got and that's exactly what I did.  What was really cool, was there were people along the route that were cheering everyone on and that definitely helped to motivate me.

I think I siked (sp?) myself out way too much for this because that was the one thing I worried about was those stupid cramps.  And guess what? I got them.  I probably worried too much about that and not wanting to walk at all, but just run the entire thing.  I have run 3 miles in the past and knew I could do it.  But it was the day of the big race and of course, I let my mind take over instead of relaxing.  I have noticed that I have good and bad days when I run.  I ran on Thursday and felt great!  Too bad it couldn't have translated to today.

I know this was my very first 5K and I have been extremely hard on myself today.  I'm just discouraged because I wanted to do better than I did.  At least I finished and didn't give up despite the cramps.

My results for the 5K are 40:03 so that's 12:55 a mile.  I finished 482 out of the 567 runners.  Seeing the results made me even more disappointed.  I was the last in our group of 8 women to cross the finish line.  I am going to continue running and do another 5K.  I've got to prove to myself that I can do a 5K and run the entire thing and hopefully in less time.  I have only been running for 2 months so I hope within the next couple of months my body will continue to get stronger and I will have more endurance for maybe one more mile??

I know I shouldn't be so discouraged since this was my first 5K and I only started running 2 months ago.  I won't let this discouragement stop me though.  I now have a goal to work toward now, run in less time.  If I had let the cramps I started getting about a month ago stop me, I definitely wouldn't have accomplished what I did today.  I didn't give up, I just kept going.  I will keep doing that now.  I will keep running.

Long time, no blog!

It's been a while since my last blog! My left hand was out of commission for a little while.  Typing was not fun to do with just one hand!  So, here's what's been going on in my world:

~Had the cyst removed, my hand is pretty much back to normal.  I can use it which is helpful!

Charis wrote me this sweet, sweet letter the day I got my cyst removed.  I will type it out exactly how she wrote it (she asked me how to spell certain words and I didn't know what she was doing.  I thought she was just writing random words down; I was pleasantly surprised by what I read):

God is with you.  You dode nede to be afraid.  God was with you your whole life.  I no that your hand hrts.

Love Charis 

I M 6

Is that just precious!!  I wanted to blog about this as soon as I read it, but the thought of taking the time to do that made my hand hurt more!

~I had to rely on Charis more for help for things.  In doing so, I realized that she is much more capable of doing things than I gave her credit for.  For example, she did a great job helping with putting the dishes away from the dishwasher and putting lotion on my right arm.  She is a great helper which means she'll be a great helper when our adopted son joins us.

~Home study has been APPROVED!!!  We are now in the process of begging for money applying for grants.

~We have to travel to Ethiopia twice - this got changed back to traveling just once and then back again - who     know's it may change again!

~I have registered for a 5K which is coming up on Sunday!  I am super excited about this.  I have been running consistently since registering for it and have been able to get up to 3 miles.  I NEVER thought I'd be able to run let alone register for a 5K and be excited about it.  I feel amazing after running, I have so much energy.  Running is very addicting.  It's definitely hard WHILE doing it, but it's so worth it.  I lost 4 pounds -  WHAT, SERIOUSLY!?  I wasn't running to lose weight, but hey, I'll accept that. =)

News, news

In my last post, we had just found out that we would have to travel twice to Ethiopia.  Well, there has been another change.  The Ethiopia government has put that on hold....for now.  The agency said to plan as if we will be traveling twice because this could change.  Also, with the debated reformed healthcare bill we got some news that is in our favor.  As some of you may or may not know, there is an adoption tax credit available to adopting families.  This tax credit is $12,170.  This would be applied to our taxes next year if we finish our adoption process this year.  We had been told about 4-6 months ago that this adoption credit was going to go down to $5,000 next year.  Within the reformed healthcare bill, it has upped the adoption credit to $13,170 and has extended it until 2011!  WOW!  What exciting news!  God has been showing us in big and small ways that we are on the right path for this adoption.

God has also blessed us with a great car!  We ended up buying a 2003 Saturn Vue and we absolutely love it!

I found this cyst on the palm of  my left hand about 2 months ago.  It has grown since I found it and in a really bad spot.  YUCK!  I went to the doctor about it this past week and it's definitely nothing to worry about, but needs to be removed.  He said that they are pretty common.  I will be getting it removed on Tuesday.  So thankful that I don't have to go under for this.  The doctor said that it will take about 5 minutes and I can drive myself in and drive home.  I will be in an ace bandage for about a week, which will definitely be a hassle, but glad to get rid of this cyst.

We had our 4th and FINAL home study visit on Tuesday!  We should have our approved home study within the next couple of weeks. WOO-HOO!  This is an exciting time for us because this means that we will be able to apply for grants toward our adoption.  If anyone knows of any organizations out there that gives adoption grants please let us know!  I  know of two so far.  Shaohanna's Hope and helpusadopt.org.  I will definitely be doing my research because we want to tap into this resource with as much passion as possible.  Of course, these grants are not a guarantee, but you won't know till you try! =)

The unpredictability of international adoption

We got some news from our adoption agency America World that the Ethiopian government has made changes concerning the approval of our adoption in court.  We are now required to be in Ethiopia for our court date which means that we will have to travel twice.  Before the change, there was a representative of America World for the adopting family present in court and we would only have to travel once; the date of going to picking up our child.  We were warned in the beginning of our adoption process that it is unpredictable and that changes will happen along the way.  This is a big change because it means that the cost of our adoption just went up by $5,000.  Both parents are required to be in court for the first trip, but it's not a requirement for the second trip.  We want to be able to travel for both trips and bring Charis with us for at least one of the trips.  We are excited about the opportunity to see and experience Ethiopia twice.  It will be great to experience their culture and take a little bit of back with us.  We will definitely be able to visit with our son while there, but it will be so hard to leave.  Our first trip will take 5-7 days.  We will then wait 8-12 weeks after that before we can return to pick up our son.  That waiting time will be hard because we will have seen and gotten to know our little one.  Our second trip will take about 3 days.

We have both experienced peace about this news because we know that God has led on this journey of adoption and will provide the needed funds for it.  Thank you in advance for your prayers for us while we continue on this journey.  We don't know what other changes may occur, but it gives us great peace of mind knowing that God will not be surprised by any changes!

Isaiah 55:8-9
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts.

When It Rains, It Pours

Please pardon my mess, I'm currently trying to figure out this new layout for the blog.

Life happens.  These past couple of weeks have been quite out of the ordinary!  You know the saying, 'when it rains it pours'?  Well, it has poured at the Kelley household.

first downpour
As you read in our last post, Caleb's grandma past away so we went to Indiana for the funeral.

second downpour
The same week that we got back from Indiana, I had a car accident and totaled our car.  I rear-ended someone.  The air bags deployed (the smell from them deploying was bad and there was smoke coming from them; I was told this was normal after the fact), the windshield on the passenger side cracked, the hood got bend in half. The car I hit barely had a scratch on it.  The weather was snowy and there was a slight hill, so when I slammed on the brakes there was no traction.  I was in the process of making a right turn.  I definitely wasn't paying attention.  I looked down for a second, looked up and knew what was going to happen.  Poor Charis was so shaken up and cried for about 10 minutes.  I was shaken up as well and couldn't really do much for her.  We had just gone to Wendy's and got some food.  Her french fries flew to the floor after the accident and she was quite upset about that.  I had my hamburger on my lap at the time and it splattered on me, the door and window.  Thankfully, no one was hurt just really shook up.  I also felt like such an idiot.  The first thought that went through my head was, 'Aw, I'm going to get a ticket!'.  Weird thought, I know, but I've never gotten a ticket for anything.  And guess what??  I didn't get one!  I couldn't believe it.  The cop said these accidents happen a lot because of the weather.  We were needing to get a bigger car anyway with our upcoming adoption, just didn't have it planned THIS way!

                            Um...yeah...

                            Hardly a scratch...

third downpour
A couple of months ago, Charis got the flu shot which is to PREVENT the flu, right?  Well, she got the flu and bad this past week.  She hasn't been this sick since she was a baby.  She is finally better!  Now, hopefully sickness has left our house and no one else will get it.  Thinking happy thoughts.

Now, we are in the process of buying a new (new to us anyway!) car.  We were looking at an '04 Chevy Malibu, but after looking at the carfax, we saw that the car was totaled before.  We will be looking at an '03 Saturn Vue on Wednesday.  A great family from our church is letting us borrow their car until we can get one, what a blessing!  Thankfully, God has provided the money we need for another car without having to take out a loan.  With our upcoming adoption, we don't need to add anymore expense to our financial statement or raise any red flags which could delay this process.  

3rd home study done!

We had our 3rd home study last Thursday.  I wanted to blog about it that day, but we had to travel to Indiana because Caleb's grandmother was not doing well.  We knew that she didn't have much longer here on earth.  Caleb's mom wanted the family that could come down to be there for her and Grandma Carnahan.  We arrived in Indiana late Friday evening.  Grandma Carnahan was 89 years old and passed away on Saturday February 4 at 4pm.  She had been battling Alzheimers since she was 80 years old.  We were glad that we were able to be there for Caleb's mom and for the funeral.  The funeral was beautiful and a fitting tribute to Grandma Carnahan.  She was a woman who loved the Lord, her children and other people.  She had 9 children, 3 of which were born with physical/mental handicaps and she dedicated her life to caring for them.

Our home study went well.  Our social worker took a tour of our home--I was a little nervous about this!  You know, when someone comes to your home, you think about all the things that you need to do different, clean or fix.  I have not put any pictures on the walls because I know this place is not going to be permanent (we eventually want to buy a house).  I really don't want to have to wrap and pack pictures--again!  Packing pictures is so tedious.  I've been contemplating unpacking my pictures and putting them anyway.  I love having pictures up around my house.  Anyway, our social worker's main goal was to see the sleeping arrangements we would have and the basic safety for our place.

We have one more home study to go.  Hopefully, we'll be able to get that done within the next couple of weeks.  After we are done with our home study, we will be able to focus full force on our dossier paperwork, the paperwork that will go to Ethiopia.

2 down, 2 to go!

We had our second home study visit today.  In this visit our social worker interviewed Caleb and I individually.  I was a little nervous about this visit just because it was going to be so personal.  She asked us questions about our childhoods, marriage, parenting/discipline style, how we handle stress, what characteristics we are thinking our boy may have, how we are thinking our lives will be when we adopt, etc.  Lots of questions!  It didn't go as bad as I was thinking.

We had a conference call today through AWAA for people going through their 'paper chase' that had questions.  Some things we learned through the conference call were:

• From AWAA in 2009 there were 208 children placed in homes including HIV positive children!
• They have been able to open up a second transition home for children that will be adopted soon.  The first transition home is for infants and the second one is for older children.  There is a psychologist on sight so there can be focused care and attention for the older children.  They also help to prepare the children for their adoption.
• The ratio of kids to nannies in the TH (transition home) is 1 nanny to 5 kids.  They have 20-25 nannies on staff in the TH.  This is great!
• There is a pediatrician at the TH 6 days a week to give medical care to the kids.  So, the kids are seen on a daily and weekly basis.
• The bad news we heard today was that the US Consulate has changed the amount of kids that can get their visas to be adopted is 10 every other week.  I am not sure what the amount was before, but this changes the wait time for us to travel after we receive our referral from 2-4 weeks to 6-8 weeks.

Yesterday (Monday), I had my physical that is required for our adoption.  Caleb's physical is set for tomorrow (Wednesday).  The day couldn't have worked out any better!  It was amazing to see how God worked out the timing in it all.  For our physical we need blood work and a TB test.  With a TB test, it needs to be checked  within 48 hours.  The doctor asked if there was any way for Caleb to come in that day to do his TB test, I had my doubts because normally, he can't leave work on such short notice.  His boss and another employee came to work, not realizing it was their day off.  His boss was just about to walk out the door when I called.  Since there were enough people at the store, Caleb was able to leave right then to come and get his TB test done!  We only have one car, and I had the car, so his boss was able to drop him off at the doctor's office.  We were also able to get our blood work done that day because there is a lab in the doctor's office.  Since we have to get our physical forms notarized when the doctor signs the forms, she of  course, can't sign the forms until the blood work and TB results are in.  All the results will be in and read for his appointment Wednesday.  All the timing couldn't have worked out any better!  We will be able to get our physical forms signed and notarized tomorrow.  Another set of  paperwork we have accomplished!  It's so great to see God work even in the smallest details.

I forgot to mention in my blog about our first home study that Charis asked if we were going to see the picture of the little boy that we are going to adopt.  She was disappointed when I told her no.  That was too cute not to share.  As you can tell, Charis is super excited about getting a little brother!

Our home study journey has begun!

We had our first of four home study meetings today!  We met with our social worker and liked her immediately. We are excited to be working with her.  We've  moved since we applied (April '09) to AWAA (America World Adoption Agency) and failed to give them our new address.  Our social worker went to our previous address, luckily though, she doesn't live very far away (in the Rochester area!) and it didn't take her too long to get our new place.  If the social worker lives more than 10 miles away then fees would come into play for us to pay.  It's such a blessing not to have to pay for those fees (miles, gas, food, lodging) cause we have enough fees to pay for!! =D  Our first meeting was basically about meeting our social worker and vice versa, educating ourselves on the culture from which our child will come from and what motivated us to adopt.  Infertility has definitely played a role in that decision, but we've come to realize that it's more than that.  We feel a certain calling or life goal to adopt, not just one child, but as many as God wants us to adopt.  We see adoption as a good representation of the Gospel.  
   
James 1:27 Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit            orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. 


Ephesians 1:4-6 ⁴ even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love ⁵ he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, ⁶ to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.


We are adopting from Ethiopia and we talked about what that would look like for us and our child.  We have decided to adopt internationally because of the uncertainty with domestic adoption or foster care (the birth mother changing her mind; adopting through foster care can take years!).  In Ethiopia, a child will be available to adopt after 3 months of being in the orphanage.  They use those 3 months to look for family that may want to take the child or if family comes back to take the child.  Of course, life is full of uncertainties, but we feel with international adoption the children in orphanages are just that, orphans, and there are so many orphans around the world!  We've been learning that an orphanage is NOT the best place for children.  In America, we at least have the foster care system, which yes, isn't the best either, but when you have 75 plus kids to 5 or so care takers, you have children not getting the attention, love, affection, etc. that they need.   


We had a really good first visit.  It felt as if our adoption journey was real, almost like when you find out your expecting, just the excitement of knowing that soon a child will be added to your family!