God has been doing an amazing work in my heart. I have tried on my own to change and grow, but that just hasn't seemed to work in my favor...haha.
I have been through a difficult and painful season of my life and I can honestly say that I am seeing real change and growth in my life. FINALLY. Being on this path has caused a lot of sadness, tears, anger, jealousy, resentment....the list could go on. BUT God is removing those emotions and replacing them with TRUE joy, love, and peace. Joy, love and peace that only He can give.
God keeps bringing certain verses to my mind on a daily basis. The first set he showed me was during my miscarriage in Feb. 2005, and he's been reminding me of them again. It's amazing to me that God can bring just the right verses when you need them the most and use them to encourage and strengthen you. God has brought other verses to me through the years, but these particular ones have been foremost on my mind recently.
Jeremiah 18:1-6
"The word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: Arise, and go down to the potter's house, and there I will let you hear my words." So I went down to the potter's house, and there he was working at his wheel. And the vessel he was making of clay was spoiled in the potter's hand, and he reworked it into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to do. Then the word of the Lord came to me: "O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter has done? declares the Lord. Behold, like the clay in the potter's hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel."
I couldn't have gotten through those dark days without them. It's been almost 10 years since that time and I've struggled immensely with my emotions, God's love for me, and asking why me. I am so thankful for God's grace in my life and that he continues to work on me even in the midst of my failure, questioning and anger toward Him. Looking back over these years, I am in awe of all God has been doing in my life. Not just in this particular struggle, but in all areas of my life.
Isaiah 43: 18-19
Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
God is doing a new thing in my heart...changing it. True change not based on emotions. He is making a way through this season of my life. It is springing forth and I am SEEING IT.
