Long time, no blog!

It's been a while since my last blog! My left hand was out of commission for a little while.  Typing was not fun to do with just one hand!  So, here's what's been going on in my world:

~Had the cyst removed, my hand is pretty much back to normal.  I can use it which is helpful!

Charis wrote me this sweet, sweet letter the day I got my cyst removed.  I will type it out exactly how she wrote it (she asked me how to spell certain words and I didn't know what she was doing.  I thought she was just writing random words down; I was pleasantly surprised by what I read):

God is with you.  You dode nede to be afraid.  God was with you your whole life.  I no that your hand hrts.

Love Charis 

I M 6

Is that just precious!!  I wanted to blog about this as soon as I read it, but the thought of taking the time to do that made my hand hurt more!

~I had to rely on Charis more for help for things.  In doing so, I realized that she is much more capable of doing things than I gave her credit for.  For example, she did a great job helping with putting the dishes away from the dishwasher and putting lotion on my right arm.  She is a great helper which means she'll be a great helper when our adopted son joins us.

~Home study has been APPROVED!!!  We are now in the process of begging for money applying for grants.

~We have to travel to Ethiopia twice - this got changed back to traveling just once and then back again - who     know's it may change again!

~I have registered for a 5K which is coming up on Sunday!  I am super excited about this.  I have been running consistently since registering for it and have been able to get up to 3 miles.  I NEVER thought I'd be able to run let alone register for a 5K and be excited about it.  I feel amazing after running, I have so much energy.  Running is very addicting.  It's definitely hard WHILE doing it, but it's so worth it.  I lost 4 pounds -  WHAT, SERIOUSLY!?  I wasn't running to lose weight, but hey, I'll accept that. =)

News, news

In my last post, we had just found out that we would have to travel twice to Ethiopia.  Well, there has been another change.  The Ethiopia government has put that on hold....for now.  The agency said to plan as if we will be traveling twice because this could change.  Also, with the debated reformed healthcare bill we got some news that is in our favor.  As some of you may or may not know, there is an adoption tax credit available to adopting families.  This tax credit is $12,170.  This would be applied to our taxes next year if we finish our adoption process this year.  We had been told about 4-6 months ago that this adoption credit was going to go down to $5,000 next year.  Within the reformed healthcare bill, it has upped the adoption credit to $13,170 and has extended it until 2011!  WOW!  What exciting news!  God has been showing us in big and small ways that we are on the right path for this adoption.

God has also blessed us with a great car!  We ended up buying a 2003 Saturn Vue and we absolutely love it!

I found this cyst on the palm of  my left hand about 2 months ago.  It has grown since I found it and in a really bad spot.  YUCK!  I went to the doctor about it this past week and it's definitely nothing to worry about, but needs to be removed.  He said that they are pretty common.  I will be getting it removed on Tuesday.  So thankful that I don't have to go under for this.  The doctor said that it will take about 5 minutes and I can drive myself in and drive home.  I will be in an ace bandage for about a week, which will definitely be a hassle, but glad to get rid of this cyst.

We had our 4th and FINAL home study visit on Tuesday!  We should have our approved home study within the next couple of weeks. WOO-HOO!  This is an exciting time for us because this means that we will be able to apply for grants toward our adoption.  If anyone knows of any organizations out there that gives adoption grants please let us know!  I  know of two so far.  Shaohanna's Hope and helpusadopt.org.  I will definitely be doing my research because we want to tap into this resource with as much passion as possible.  Of course, these grants are not a guarantee, but you won't know till you try! =)

The unpredictability of international adoption

We got some news from our adoption agency America World that the Ethiopian government has made changes concerning the approval of our adoption in court.  We are now required to be in Ethiopia for our court date which means that we will have to travel twice.  Before the change, there was a representative of America World for the adopting family present in court and we would only have to travel once; the date of going to picking up our child.  We were warned in the beginning of our adoption process that it is unpredictable and that changes will happen along the way.  This is a big change because it means that the cost of our adoption just went up by $5,000.  Both parents are required to be in court for the first trip, but it's not a requirement for the second trip.  We want to be able to travel for both trips and bring Charis with us for at least one of the trips.  We are excited about the opportunity to see and experience Ethiopia twice.  It will be great to experience their culture and take a little bit of back with us.  We will definitely be able to visit with our son while there, but it will be so hard to leave.  Our first trip will take 5-7 days.  We will then wait 8-12 weeks after that before we can return to pick up our son.  That waiting time will be hard because we will have seen and gotten to know our little one.  Our second trip will take about 3 days.

We have both experienced peace about this news because we know that God has led on this journey of adoption and will provide the needed funds for it.  Thank you in advance for your prayers for us while we continue on this journey.  We don't know what other changes may occur, but it gives us great peace of mind knowing that God will not be surprised by any changes!

Isaiah 55:8-9
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts.

When It Rains, It Pours

Please pardon my mess, I'm currently trying to figure out this new layout for the blog.

Life happens.  These past couple of weeks have been quite out of the ordinary!  You know the saying, 'when it rains it pours'?  Well, it has poured at the Kelley household.

first downpour
As you read in our last post, Caleb's grandma past away so we went to Indiana for the funeral.

second downpour
The same week that we got back from Indiana, I had a car accident and totaled our car.  I rear-ended someone.  The air bags deployed (the smell from them deploying was bad and there was smoke coming from them; I was told this was normal after the fact), the windshield on the passenger side cracked, the hood got bend in half. The car I hit barely had a scratch on it.  The weather was snowy and there was a slight hill, so when I slammed on the brakes there was no traction.  I was in the process of making a right turn.  I definitely wasn't paying attention.  I looked down for a second, looked up and knew what was going to happen.  Poor Charis was so shaken up and cried for about 10 minutes.  I was shaken up as well and couldn't really do much for her.  We had just gone to Wendy's and got some food.  Her french fries flew to the floor after the accident and she was quite upset about that.  I had my hamburger on my lap at the time and it splattered on me, the door and window.  Thankfully, no one was hurt just really shook up.  I also felt like such an idiot.  The first thought that went through my head was, 'Aw, I'm going to get a ticket!'.  Weird thought, I know, but I've never gotten a ticket for anything.  And guess what??  I didn't get one!  I couldn't believe it.  The cop said these accidents happen a lot because of the weather.  We were needing to get a bigger car anyway with our upcoming adoption, just didn't have it planned THIS way!

                            Um...yeah...

                            Hardly a scratch...

third downpour
A couple of months ago, Charis got the flu shot which is to PREVENT the flu, right?  Well, she got the flu and bad this past week.  She hasn't been this sick since she was a baby.  She is finally better!  Now, hopefully sickness has left our house and no one else will get it.  Thinking happy thoughts.

Now, we are in the process of buying a new (new to us anyway!) car.  We were looking at an '04 Chevy Malibu, but after looking at the carfax, we saw that the car was totaled before.  We will be looking at an '03 Saturn Vue on Wednesday.  A great family from our church is letting us borrow their car until we can get one, what a blessing!  Thankfully, God has provided the money we need for another car without having to take out a loan.  With our upcoming adoption, we don't need to add anymore expense to our financial statement or raise any red flags which could delay this process.  

3rd home study done!

We had our 3rd home study last Thursday.  I wanted to blog about it that day, but we had to travel to Indiana because Caleb's grandmother was not doing well.  We knew that she didn't have much longer here on earth.  Caleb's mom wanted the family that could come down to be there for her and Grandma Carnahan.  We arrived in Indiana late Friday evening.  Grandma Carnahan was 89 years old and passed away on Saturday February 4 at 4pm.  She had been battling Alzheimers since she was 80 years old.  We were glad that we were able to be there for Caleb's mom and for the funeral.  The funeral was beautiful and a fitting tribute to Grandma Carnahan.  She was a woman who loved the Lord, her children and other people.  She had 9 children, 3 of which were born with physical/mental handicaps and she dedicated her life to caring for them.

Our home study went well.  Our social worker took a tour of our home--I was a little nervous about this!  You know, when someone comes to your home, you think about all the things that you need to do different, clean or fix.  I have not put any pictures on the walls because I know this place is not going to be permanent (we eventually want to buy a house).  I really don't want to have to wrap and pack pictures--again!  Packing pictures is so tedious.  I've been contemplating unpacking my pictures and putting them anyway.  I love having pictures up around my house.  Anyway, our social worker's main goal was to see the sleeping arrangements we would have and the basic safety for our place.

We have one more home study to go.  Hopefully, we'll be able to get that done within the next couple of weeks.  After we are done with our home study, we will be able to focus full force on our dossier paperwork, the paperwork that will go to Ethiopia.

2 down, 2 to go!

We had our second home study visit today.  In this visit our social worker interviewed Caleb and I individually.  I was a little nervous about this visit just because it was going to be so personal.  She asked us questions about our childhoods, marriage, parenting/discipline style, how we handle stress, what characteristics we are thinking our boy may have, how we are thinking our lives will be when we adopt, etc.  Lots of questions!  It didn't go as bad as I was thinking.

We had a conference call today through AWAA for people going through their 'paper chase' that had questions.  Some things we learned through the conference call were:

• From AWAA in 2009 there were 208 children placed in homes including HIV positive children!
• They have been able to open up a second transition home for children that will be adopted soon.  The first transition home is for infants and the second one is for older children.  There is a psychologist on sight so there can be focused care and attention for the older children.  They also help to prepare the children for their adoption.
• The ratio of kids to nannies in the TH (transition home) is 1 nanny to 5 kids.  They have 20-25 nannies on staff in the TH.  This is great!
• There is a pediatrician at the TH 6 days a week to give medical care to the kids.  So, the kids are seen on a daily and weekly basis.
• The bad news we heard today was that the US Consulate has changed the amount of kids that can get their visas to be adopted is 10 every other week.  I am not sure what the amount was before, but this changes the wait time for us to travel after we receive our referral from 2-4 weeks to 6-8 weeks.

Yesterday (Monday), I had my physical that is required for our adoption.  Caleb's physical is set for tomorrow (Wednesday).  The day couldn't have worked out any better!  It was amazing to see how God worked out the timing in it all.  For our physical we need blood work and a TB test.  With a TB test, it needs to be checked  within 48 hours.  The doctor asked if there was any way for Caleb to come in that day to do his TB test, I had my doubts because normally, he can't leave work on such short notice.  His boss and another employee came to work, not realizing it was their day off.  His boss was just about to walk out the door when I called.  Since there were enough people at the store, Caleb was able to leave right then to come and get his TB test done!  We only have one car, and I had the car, so his boss was able to drop him off at the doctor's office.  We were also able to get our blood work done that day because there is a lab in the doctor's office.  Since we have to get our physical forms notarized when the doctor signs the forms, she of  course, can't sign the forms until the blood work and TB results are in.  All the results will be in and read for his appointment Wednesday.  All the timing couldn't have worked out any better!  We will be able to get our physical forms signed and notarized tomorrow.  Another set of  paperwork we have accomplished!  It's so great to see God work even in the smallest details.

I forgot to mention in my blog about our first home study that Charis asked if we were going to see the picture of the little boy that we are going to adopt.  She was disappointed when I told her no.  That was too cute not to share.  As you can tell, Charis is super excited about getting a little brother!

Our home study journey has begun!

We had our first of four home study meetings today!  We met with our social worker and liked her immediately. We are excited to be working with her.  We've  moved since we applied (April '09) to AWAA (America World Adoption Agency) and failed to give them our new address.  Our social worker went to our previous address, luckily though, she doesn't live very far away (in the Rochester area!) and it didn't take her too long to get our new place.  If the social worker lives more than 10 miles away then fees would come into play for us to pay.  It's such a blessing not to have to pay for those fees (miles, gas, food, lodging) cause we have enough fees to pay for!! =D  Our first meeting was basically about meeting our social worker and vice versa, educating ourselves on the culture from which our child will come from and what motivated us to adopt.  Infertility has definitely played a role in that decision, but we've come to realize that it's more than that.  We feel a certain calling or life goal to adopt, not just one child, but as many as God wants us to adopt.  We see adoption as a good representation of the Gospel.  
   
James 1:27 Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit            orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. 


Ephesians 1:4-6 ⁴ even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love ⁵ he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, ⁶ to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.


We are adopting from Ethiopia and we talked about what that would look like for us and our child.  We have decided to adopt internationally because of the uncertainty with domestic adoption or foster care (the birth mother changing her mind; adopting through foster care can take years!).  In Ethiopia, a child will be available to adopt after 3 months of being in the orphanage.  They use those 3 months to look for family that may want to take the child or if family comes back to take the child.  Of course, life is full of uncertainties, but we feel with international adoption the children in orphanages are just that, orphans, and there are so many orphans around the world!  We've been learning that an orphanage is NOT the best place for children.  In America, we at least have the foster care system, which yes, isn't the best either, but when you have 75 plus kids to 5 or so care takers, you have children not getting the attention, love, affection, etc. that they need.   


We had a really good first visit.  It felt as if our adoption journey was real, almost like when you find out your expecting, just the excitement of knowing that soon a child will be added to your family!